Oh shit, where to start?

"and feel very thankful to the whales for allowing us to make the burgers." Right, I've decided I'm going to start my career of eating Japanese people with the Japanese people who adopt the absurd fiction that whales accept being eaten. I will be grateful that they let me eat them.

"Japan is campaigning for a full-scale return to commercial catches, saying whale stocks have recovered sufficiently during the 19-year ban." And will stop again when stocks have depleted sufficiently to make it impossible to continue.

"but argues that eating whale meat is part of the country's traditional food and should be treated with respect." by being fried so it tastes like something else and being served in a thoroughly non-traditional style.

Ms Oh, will you come into the kitchen for a moment please?

There are plenty of contradictions in there!!

My personal fav
"We fry minke whale meat and the burger really tastes like beef," manager Miku Oh said.
Which brings up your point of frying it so it tastes like something else.
At least they put their customers first over the environment, sorry money first!! Better eat em up quick before the environment turns against us (kinda late though).

That made me mad. I didn't know whether to laugh or punch my PC screen.