Ah he has been in the Us.

Just how long is a footballer able to stay away from his employer?!?

And does he look like maybe he's been scoffing too many pies in this latest pic (of him apparently going straight down Beckham Way).

What a mint photo!

The Toon have bought someone I've never heard of and a Liverpool reject. Yet hope springs eternal! After all, you've got to support the lads!!

Robbie Keane has the worst goal celebration in the Premier League. That sharpshooter thing he does. I seem to remember him nabbing two off some classic Route One play against Liverpool, so maybe Rafa was impressed. There is talk of ManYoo getting Berb for 25mill, in which case 20mill for Keane is daylight robbery. If I were Rafa I'd get Bentley. I'd keep the facial hair though! I think it suits him.

Cracking shot!

I quite liked his goal celebration. Though he doesn't get that many chances does he?

quite. That dick on the right actually looks like Robert DiNero

Pies!

Today Guardian has Kaka to Chelsea. Hope not. That would be way too good for them.

Now that would be an impressive move to pull off.
But damn, please not Chelsea.
I thought he wasn' for moving.

Kaka is not only an excellent player but also a nice boy who believes in God. Going to Chelsea is not what God would want for such a boy.

And as for this Berbatov-gate. Spurs kicking up a fuss to get more cash and look like they didn't want to sell.

You've got to believe that Ferguson would not be mad idiot enough to actually say those things he is being accused of in light of the Ronaldo bull. Looks like he is threatening to sue.

Better than Corrers is footie drama.

Remember the Python sketch?

Ronaldo: I want to leave. I am willing to go if Real will pay me what they claim. I am calm. Only God knows.

SAF: But Cristiano, you can't go.

R: Why, what have you and this club ever done for me?

SAF: We plucked you from relative obscurity and brought you to one of the biggest sporting institutions in the world.

R: Ok. That's one thing.

SAF: We paid you lots of money, we made you and your family comfortable for life. We stuck with you even when you were inconsistent. We helped you become the best footballer in the world. We increased your wages. Twice. We supported you when your father died. We laid on the best of treatment, even when you behaved poorly. We still want you in our team, despite your behaviour, because we value you so much.

R: Ok, ok, ok. Apart from all of those things, what have you and this club ever done for me.



I haven't seen that much of Berbatov, but sounds like he would be good to have.

Berbatov would be good at United I reckon.

We should have gone for him rather than Keane.

I wonder if any of Spurs will be left once Keano has his pick as well. ha.

It wouldn't have to be much would it?

My mum still watcheds Corrers.

How about Eastenders?

I'm bored of the football-less season.
Can't kick off soon enough.

Are we really talking about Eastenders and Corrers in the footie thread. Brookside, maybe, but...

ARSENAL defender Kolo Toure has been struck down with malaria, it was revealed last night.
The ｣7million-rated star developed symptoms of the potentially fatal disease on the Premier League club’s tour of Hungary and Austria.

Paul Scholes: the shy ginger prince, modest, general all round good bloke.
And, oh yes, a legend.

Compare and contrast with Ronaldo.

>>

The time is 3.30am in Moscow in May and Paul Scholes sits, alone, on a bus. A Champions League winner's medal hangs from his neck; proof that, at last, a life's work is complete.

Fifty yards away, Manchester United team-mates talk to the media. The match is won and it's time to revel in the glory. Scholes just wants to go home. 'Yeah, I was first on the bus,' reflected Scholes this week.

'But I always am. What's the point in hanging around? I was pleased with what we'd done but didn't want to spend all night talking about it. I was at the party later. But not for long. I had the kids there.

'You maybe think about what you have done for a day or two but then that's it, it's finished. You look forward to the start of the new season.'

Fast forward two months and that new season is almost upon us. Scholes sits with seven journalists in the foyer of the Beverly Hills Hotel in the Umhangla Rocks district of Durban, South Africa.

He doesn't want to be there. A polite but reluctant interviewee. A reluctant superstar. Scholes adores football but hates the clutter that comes with it. He expects to retire in two years and when he does you can expect him to vanish.

'Part of me will be glad to finish,' said Scholes. 'I can't say I can't wait to finish but I'm looking forward to finishing and everything that goes with it. The only thing I'll definitely miss is the football. The general life of a footballer, I suppose, I won't miss at all.

'People are just very invasive, aren't they? They are always wanting to know what you have been doing and what you're going to do.

'I'm sure I'll go to watch United. My lad Aaron is absolutely mad on Man United. But that'll be as far as it goes. I'd think I have two years left at the most.

'At the moment I just think that would be about right. I feel OK right now and as long as I feel OK then I'll carry on. 'I'll just have to see when the time comes whether I want to carry on playing somewhere else at a lower level. I don't look that far ahead.'

Fresh from a gym session (voluntary) in the hotel, Scholes looks surprisingly muscular as he sits in an armchair.

His biceps are huge and his legs powerful. It is clear that a player known for possessing one of the most intelligent minds in English football has been doing his bit to ensure his survival in a Premier League which increasingly relies on pace, power and physical strength.

'There are a lot more players out there who are a lot quicker and more powerful than players were when I started,' reflected Scholes.

'But you just have to keep on top of it and hopefully your football talents come out in the end.

'You'd like to think that maybe your football intelligence comes into it and helps you to cope. After all, there's only so much running you can do. At the end of the day it's football and if you're clever enough to play then you'll find the right answers for it.'

Scholes' football brain and passing range remain as good as ever. He played one ball - over 50 yards on the volley - against Orlando Pirates on Wednesday that Padraig Harrington would have struggled to play with his pitching wedge.

But to understand Scholes' remarkable longevity at Old Trafford it helps to look at some statistics from last season.

The elder statesman - he is 33 now - Scholes nevertheless made more appearances (24) than his young central midfield colleagues Owen Hargreaves and the Brazilian Anderson last season.

Michael Carrick played just seven more times. Having evolved gradually in to a deeper lying player, Scholes' goal return has diminished. He scored only twice last season, although one - from 25 yards - won United's Champions League semi-final against Barcelona.

'It was just one goal, one moment in a game,' is Scholes' take on it. Towards the end of an off-season that has been dominated by Cristiano Ronaldo's attempts to engineer a transfer to Real Madrid, it would be fascinating to hear Scholes' private thoughts about a team-mate who is everything that he is not.

There is no chance of that, however. He probably hasn't even told his wife. But the very concept of seeking fame and fortune elsewhere is alien to Scholes, a player who doesn't even have an agent.

'If players fancy a move and a bit of money then good luck to them but if they're at such a place like this I don't think they realise how lucky they are to be playing here,' he said.

'It's always a step down after here. There are obviously big clubs in the world but while certain people think it might be a progression if they move somewhere else, I don't think it is.

'I am lucky in that I've had everything I need. I'm at Manchester United and from Manchester. What more do I need?'

The one thing he badly needed last season was a place in a Champions League Final team.

Having missed the 1999 success through suspension, last May's triumph meant more to Scholes than most.

'I got a medal in 1999 but I don't view myself as a double Champions League winner,' he added.

'You've got to play in the final, I suppose, for it to count. So it meant everything to win it this time. It was a great night.'

For Scholes, there may not be that many more great nights. The end of a remarkable career is creeping up.

Rewind a few days to last Saturday. United have just played a friendly at the Newlands Stadium in Cape Town. Again, Scholes sits on the team bus on his own.

Outside, cameras flash as South African news crews and fans peer through the tinted glass for a closer view. Scholes instinctively shuffles across his seat towards the aisle. He is out of sight.

He is almost the opposite of Ronaldo.

I bet Scholes wants some of these shorts