THAT is funny.

The whole episode is something you couldn't make up.

More Blatter wisdom

1. Why have two halves when you can have four quarters? Blatter’s plan to make the beautiful game more popular in the United States sinks like Derby County.

2. Blatter claims that women players should wear tighter shorts to make the game more sexy.

3. The president is not finished with women’s football yet as he dives in with both feet to announce that “homosexuality is more popular” in the female game.

4. The game is becoming boring. We need more goals. Solution? Make the goals bigger – 25cm higher and 50cm wider should do the trick.

5. “I think there is too much football on TV”. Blatter bites the hand that feeds.

6. Blatter threatens to ban Spain from major tournaments six months before Luis Aragones’s team triumph at Euro 2008. Why? The Spanish government wants sporting associations to become more democratic.

7. Why have one Graham Poll when you can have two? Sepp wants two referees for us to abuse and ridicule.

8. Blatter alienates the whole of Italy by accusing Marcello Lippi’s team of cheating during the World Cup finals in Germany in 2006.

9. One billion cricket-mad Indians scratch their heads after Blatter urges them to put down their bats and take up the beautiful game. “If your brother asks for a fish, don't give him the same; instead, teach him how to catch it,” Sepp announces on an official visit to India. You what?

10. Try searching for “Blatter” and “mad” on google. You’ll get more than 100,000 results.

The mad thing which seems really strange is

a) Real Madrid have not yet made an offer
b) Ronaldo has not put in a transfer request

Truly ridiculous.

Then it would be win-win if United released CR for 100mil and Real agrees. No need to know what CR would be earning at all.

a slave sold for a king's ransom

Ronaldo a slave? Well he is to his...

* £150,000 silver Bentley. With its red leather interior and remote control soft-top. But he will occasionally drag himself away to his newer, black Porsche. Or else the BMW he bought as a Manchester runaround for his sisters, who kept scraping his Jeep. There are other vehicles, of course. "Last year I bought a car on my birthday for myself. If I have that opportunity I should take it," he said.

* £4m mansion in Alderley Edge, Cheshire. It is equipped with its own built-in cinema, including reclining scarlet red seats, the only possible refuge from fans who recognise him in public ones in Manchester. "My belly is full and its warm," he tells a Portuguese television crew as he settles back for a film in a revealing snap-shot of life as a "modern-day slave". Watch it and weep: (www.youtube.com/ watch?v=b1uNXFvPFxE &feature=related)

*Diamond stud earrings. Which he has recently been filmed wearing while driving the Bentley around south Manchester at speed singing along to the romantic music he says is obligatory.

*Bathroom mirror. "I don't know what I was thinking when I had my hair in braids," he told a recent interviewer while examining an image of himself. "It's shameful but I have to change looks from time to time."

*Bank manager who does not keep him in the picture. "To tell you the truth I don't know [how much money I have] but it's better that way," Ronaldo said recently, sitting beneath a chandelier at his "CR7" veneered dining table in his lavish Cheshire home. "Money is not what motivates me."

*Sensitive side. "There's a lot of bad people in the world who try to put me down and say vulgar things," he said, some months before coming clean on his plight as a slave.

We must bleed Real Madrid dry. Put a whopping price and say take or leave.

More on Blatter, the man is insane.

>

Just as we thought the Ronaldo transfer saga was getting unbelievably boring and he might actually end up staying at Man United, along came the President of FIFA a.k.a honorary member of Real Madrid (maybe even FIFA were not too comfortable with that because they decided to delete that particular news webpage from their site) and decided to stir things up. And how he has succeeded! For those who do not know what I am talking about, here's a summary of the last few days: Mr. Blatter decides to advocate Ronaldo's move to Madrid by astonishingly claiming there is too much "slavery" in football in the current times.

He goes on to say, "Absolutely, absolutely. Definitely as a footballer and the FIFA president, I'm very in sympathy with the player Ronaldo. I think in football there's too much modern slavery in transferring players or buying players here and there, and putting them somewhere." Blatter has been blasted and ripped apart by everyone connected with football the world over. To make it worse, Ronaldo 'agrees 100%' with Blatter that players are being treated like slaves.

Let's take a look at the "slavery" in modern football.

Slavery is a social-economic system under which certain persons — known as slaves — are deprived of personal freedom and compelled to work. Slaves are deprived of the right to refuse to work, or to receive compensation (such as wages) in return for their labor.

Keeping this in regard, I certainly don't remember Ronaldo being deprived of any personal freedom in the last 5 years and since he has never 'refused' to play football he certainly hasn't been deprived of the right to refuse work either. And coming on to the most hilarious part of Ronaldo's slavery: no wages?? A player who earns a reported £120k a week in salary, lives in a £4million mansion, has ordered an £835,000 Bugatti Veyron and is close to agreeing a new £23million Nike sponsorship deal(considering he stays with United)!! Is this by any stretch of imagination the life of a slave? I surely don't mind being a "slave" if these are the rewards of slavery!

Blatter and Ronaldo with their incredibly stupid statements have provoked outrage in the footballing world. Here is what a couple of people feel:

· Birmingham City chief executive Karren Brady was incensed by his comments. She said: "Slaves? That's not a word I'd use. I think I'd use mercenaries."

· Wigan chairman Dave Whelan immediately called for the FIFA chief to step down. Whelan said: "The man is a complete idiot. You've got to ask whether Blatter is fit for purpose after what he's said. The answer over the years is that he clearly isn't. To even indicate that players are treated like modern-day slaves is outrageous. How stupid can that man be?"

· Birmingham chairman David Gold said: "I can't think of anyone who has stayed in such a similar position of power for so long, who has come out with such drivel. It's arrogant nonsense and complete and utter rubbish. If he was comparing lower league players with slaves — those who are not earning big money — maybe you could see where he was coming from. But to use the word in the same breath as Ronaldo, on £120,000 a week, is looking at one side of the coin."

· Milan Mandaric had this to say: "Footballers these days being modern-day slaves? Well, don't you just feel so sorry for these poor little rich souls; earning massive money for doing something they love."

· Even Uefa Communications Director William Gaillard said: "It would be useful to remind people that slaves in all of the slavery systems never earned a wage. And it is true that salaries are spiraling out of control."

So it is quite clear that Blatter has opened a can of worms and Ronaldo has made his relationship with the fans even more irreparable after senselessly agreeing with Blatter a "100 % ".

Loyalty is probably lost on Mr. Ronaldo and he will probably end up getting his dream move to Madrid and that will be that BUT this saga has really left a bad taste in the mouth.

Moving on to Blatter, his position as President is getting even more precarious. He even seems to be quite a confused person. His talk of "slavery" has clearly contradicted what he himself said a few months ago. He had said that players not complying with their contract would destroy football as we know it and after the ruling in favor of the Webster Case he lamented: "Because of this unfortunate decision, the principle of contractual stability, as agreed in 2001 with the European Commission as part of the new transfer regulations and which restored order to the transfer system, has been deemed less important than the short-term interests of the player involved.".

So if Blatter was so worried about the breach of contracts just around 5 months back, what has made him suddenly decide it is perfectly all right for a player to leave within one year of a five year contract?? He has made a number of bizarre and irrational suggestions over the years( the 6+5 Rule which is again not in favor with the major clubs) and people are really beginning to get annoyed with him as can be seen by the comments of various people. How long before Blatter is ousted as President? Will he be reelected for another term of Presidency? Well he certainly will have to win over a lot of people for that!

The investigative journalist Andrew Jennings has uncovered a lot of dirt about Blatter in his book Foul which has exposed Blatter for the corrupt person he is. Bribery, vote-rigging and a lot more, you name it and FIFA (and Blatter) has done it! It's going to be very hard for Blatter to get enough votes the next time elections come up I'm afraid…

Some of Blatter's Ideas and Beliefs:

1. Instead of two halves in football, we should have four quarters!

2. Maybe football is becoming boring- let's make the goals bigger!

3. His now infamous 6+5 rule which unfortunately for him, is not going to be agreed upon by anyone…except FIFA.

4. His insistence that Italy cheated their way to World Cup glory in 2006. Smart way to get votes from the Italian FA!

5. His total bias against England and English based clubs due to their success. He and Platini surely never had a problem when Italy and Spain were dominating European Club footall!

As one German journalist once rightly said, “Sepp Blatter has fifty ideas before breakfast every morning, and fifty-one of them are bad”. True indeed!!!

James Lawton, Independent

In the end, its not really up to Ferguson. It'll hinge on the American guys who own the club. Even if Ferguson did quit the club as he has threatened, I doubt a club like Man U would struggle to find a replacement, and the American investors will be very happy with their multi million deal from Real Madrid. I'd love to see Ferguson win out though and see the Portugese nancy boy sit in the stand until his contract is up a few years from now, however modern football just doesn't work like that.

On a side note, I didn't really think Fabregas was that good in Euro 2008. I felt that they should've left Torres on the field and brought Fabregas on for a midfielder instead

TB

The most reliable reports are that Fergie has the full backing of the Glazers and they are as hard-headed as he is.
If we do sell, we surely won't get stuffed like we did when we sold Beckham for 22p.
We should just slap 100m price tag on him and say come and get. Problem with that is that Madrid simply can't affort the numbers they have been throwing around.

Also, Ferguson has not threatened to quit the club. That is just media idiocy.

With the latest comments though it will be very very interesting to see what happens. Fergie has been very quiet about it all up until now. United supporters seem pretty much wanting rid now, me included. The stands would be fun but not realistic.

Unfortunately he is injured for the first 3 months which will buy him a lot of time to get everything resolved without being forced to sit in the stands. I would watch every man utd game every week just to see him sat up there in the stands being taught a life lesson. It would also be a great farewell move from Sir Alex the master b'stard.

The other benefit from that bobby12, would be you'd get to see some great football every week.

(I think you'll find that he will be out the first few weeks/month of the season, not the first 3 months of the season).

Curious isn`t it. Ronaldo unites the two tribes: ManU fans and the Rest of the Universe. Never thought I`d see that in my lifetime.

But you know that a day out at Old Trafford these days is more like a family picnic rather than a grey day of fighting?

I see the stories of Ronaldinho to Citeh are getting louder again. This simply cannot happen, in the name of Football.

What happened to the AC Milans and all?
It really is quite difficult to imagine him wanting to go to Manchester City. Maybe he mistakenly thinks is United and he is looking forward to playing with the lovely players over there.

He wants to go to the Olympics.

Might help him slim down a bit!

He'll end up in Milan surely. He won't be coming to Manchester, certainly not the quality side and surely not the shiteh side either!